Thursday, February 11, 2010


I've been doing a lot of thinking lately....scary I know, ha! There's been a lot of events in my life lately that have brought me so much joy and happiness and yet it seems as if I'm never quite satisfied. Does any one else seem to have this problem? I look around and there's so many reasons for me to be thankful and especially when you watch the much sadness and people who have lost so much and have so little. Then I feel terrible for carrying on like I do about all of my so-called "problems" when clearly I have nothing to complain about. Oh, woe is me!!! (My poor husband)
I also have been contemplating how I've been balancing the areas in my life and it occurred to me that I really haven't been doing that well at it. I am the type of person that wants to be the best at everything I do.....being a mom, wife, cooking, keeping the house clean, photography, exercise, etc.etc. etc....the list just goes on and on. Lately though I have been just "getting by" in each area and not really putting my whole heart into any one thing. Time gets away from me and at the end of the day I look around I'm not sure what I even got accomplished.
I think when it comes down to it, my priorities have been a little misplaced. Does anyone else have a love-hate relationship with the internet? :) I also need to learn to let some things go. Who cares if my laundry stack is a mile high, dinner is another frozen lasagna from costco and I can't remember if I showered? Those are things that I shouldn't let bother me and I should really be taking that time to play "trucks" another time with little man and reading another round of "the big road race" . I think being a mom has many emotional facets....I tend to feel guilty a lot about not measuring up. We all just need to stop beating ourselves up about the things we just can't do as well as others. :)
I am so lucky and have the best family ever and I really just need to remember that. I hope you all are better at keep the "balance" than me, let me know if you have any pearls of wisdom or thoughts on the matter :) much love, Jen


the cinnamon post said... you can just put "Tara" at the end of that post. Yup, I feel the EXACT same way. It is human nature to feel those feelings. I do better at times than others. The one thing I do that helps is try and pick a small thing to improve on at a time (I will bake cookies this week instead of buying them) and accomplish that instead of trying to pull off a huge thing (I will only feed my family organic, vegetarian food, bake my own bread from wheat that I have ground myself, and they will LOVE it). Oh...and just keep reminding yourself about how great you really are and how good you really have it as you did in the post...because you are and you do!

Brooke G. said...

Jenny - I can really relate to this post too!!! Hang in there. I remember feeling particularly rough after that second baby because you are just stretched so thin. Get sleep and focus on the little ones. The other things can and will wait. You will be back to utilizing your talents soon, but these first few months you may just have to let a few things go. I remember feeling like I would be able to get so much more done if I just had TWO hands free occasionally ;) Hang in there, Girl!!!

Jenny Esterbrook said...

You guys are awesome!!! I feel better already :) It's nice to know that others share this same feeling, hope you have a Happy Valentine's Day!! Big Hugs, jen

Hmachine said...

Jenny, I can totally relate, I feel even if I spent ALL my time trying to just do bare minimum, I still don't get it done. I've been TOTALLY overwhelmed by 4. It's getting better as Megann gets older, but still. I have to remind myself EVERY day of what REALLY matters, but it still bothers me that all the other things aren't done, etc. I think a lot of it has to do with having a baby to take care of. Hang in there for a while. MUAH! but really, I think ALL mom's feel that way.

lany and brian said...

Really, just enjoy the time to hold the little goes by so very fast. While you are in it you feel like you are overwhelmed, but being older and looking back, you would trade just about anything for a day spent rocking a baby or playing with a two year old. Everything else just doesn't really matter...except of course spending quality time with the man you love! Laundry and stuff will always be there. Love You, You are an incredible person!!!!!!!!